Ants!
I’ve got ants at work. Little back bastards that crawl up and down my desk. And my arms. Imagine how creepy that feels on these fur covered appendages I call arms. Hell, I ran over like 3 of them with mouse the other day. I’m used to cleaning my mouse for grease and dust, not squished ant parts.
I got back from lunch today and there were like 50 of the fuckers having a pow wow on my business card, I assume eating the steamrolled remains of their departed brethren. Or maybe a little bit of this mornings bacon egg and cheese biscuit. Oh well, nothing a gust of ICE COLD CAN OF COMPRESSED AIR CAN’T HANDLE. I blew those fuckers across my desk Odysseus style.
BLIND YOUR CYCLOPES OVER THERE BITCHES.
Anyway, now I have a new kind of ant trap on my desk, a liquid style, and the goddamn bastards seem to like it. I see three or four have found there way to it. DRINK IT UP AND SUFFER UNSPEAKABLE FATE.
Little bastards.