So lately I’ve been watching a lot of Television. DirecTV rolled out a new satellite and I’ve been a abusing my DVR. One of the shows I’ve been watching is The Big Bang Theory. It’s a show about a couple of smart geeks (and/or nerds) who wind up having a hot blond move in next door. They’re geeky guys, playing World of Warcraft, like comic books, and are savvy in the ways of the computer. They are they stereotypical geeks and I identify with them.
I watch it because it makes me laugh, and at the same time, squirm. The way ‘normal’ people interact and respond to these guys makes me laugh and cringe at the same time. Through out the years I’ve experienced it myself. People often tag us with labels, poor social skills or communication abilities. I like the show because it shows how well they communicate amongst themselves. Simply because you don’t understand someone doesn’t mean there isn’t someone else doesn’t understand. And, of course, we distrust we don’t understand.
Of course the lead character has a thing for the hot girl, and this is from where much of shows comedy spawns, and this is the part that makes me squirm (though less, now, then it would have a few short years ago). I see the show battle with itself, about this relationship. To be with her, will he have to be more ‘normal’? Will he have to renounce his geekdom to get the girl? Is self-betrayal necessary? I know this is only a silly little sitcom, but I hope the writers allow him to be himself, not conform to some arbitrary definition of normalcy.
To some extent, I know I’ve compromised my geekiness in moving to my new position in life. I’m not sure I can adequately convey what this means, but being a ‘geek’ now, from a technological perspective doesn’t mean it did in my formative years. Take the Internet, for example. Everyone has computer, access is common. It was different when I was growing up. If you’ve ever felt silly talking about your own computer compulsions, imagine how you would have felt in 1986. Computers in the bedroom were not always a common thing. Spending a Saturday afternoon soldering a IEEE interface into an RS-232C so you could disks faster isn’t exactly common place, but I think most everyone I know blows a great deal of free time farting around on their computer. That part of my life, high school, took a terrible toll on my psyche, and it really wasn’t until I discovered IRC. and started going to QuakeCons that I really felt comfortable in my own skin. Thank God for those early days on EFNET #quake, and yossman.net.
Luckily, I’ve found someone who lets me to be me, without tamping down to much of my geek core. My wife is a magnificent woman. In some ways I’ll always be to recapture to the geekiness life’s later responsibilities have laid upon me, but I hope I never loose sight of the incredible gift I’ve been given as continue my search for peace with my inner geek.